Day #140 - Present of Future Past

Posted by Alex | | Posted On Tuesday, 19 January 2010 at 13:02

It's rare I use a blog as a journal, what with the possibilities of it being read all over the internet. I mean, I can rant and rave here, and post my Word of the Day no trouble, because my opinions aren't that important, and everyone should have the option to look at words in other languages; but, posting about Dreams, is a new one for me, sort of.

I awoke today, late, at 12, instead of my planned hour of 8am sharp. It was one of those moments, which didn't really work out as planned, but I'll make up for lost time, I suppose. The problem wasn't getting up late, or getting 10 hours sleep, it was the fact that I dreamt about my ex-girlfriend.

It started out fine, running through a tunnel, and she was walking in the opposite direction, back to my house. She said "Hey." I answered "No." I assumed this was to do with my trying to get over her (in fact, I assumed it in the dream, rather than out of it).
After a momentary argument with a man on a coastal path similar to one featured in Final Fantasy X, I end up back in my house, which was like a cross between my actual home, and the room I'm renting out now.  From then on, it was just a game of cat and mouse; I'd try to avoid her, she'd be trying to make me fall for her again.
In short, the dream went on for ages like that, until I said, "I'm going for a shower". I did my usual routine - put some clothes on the radiator, walked away for a second, and then returned to find the clothes gone, and hers in their place.
I turned to find her semi-clothed, sitting in a cupboard, beckoning me. I went for the bait; my brother turned up, so I had to distract him, make her go elsewhere, so she swapped to the bathroom, and he was distracted. But, then she changed her disposition totally, and got fed up, and decided she was going to leave because I didn't like her or some such excuse....and so I spent the rest of my dream going "Don't go...don't go...I do...just don't go..."

And then I woke up, with the worst feeling in the world. How lame.

I really think, "dear Diary", that I shouldn't be like this two months after a break-up. I should be over her; enjoying my life; not thinking about her whenever the opportunity arises. I shouldn't be so down-in-the-dumps. And what's worse, I can't talk it out with her, because she never seems to walk to talk - it's like all of a sudden, everything we had has gone all Book of Job on us, and turned to pillars of salt.

What would Jesus do?


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